COMMENTS BY KEN GRAY

10 December, 1998

Dear Marc,

It never ceases to amaze me how much of an impact Bob’s death had on so many people. An impact that has lasted now for over 20 years, 21 on 6 January, 1999.
The grief and sadness seem just as sharp now as they were then. A day never goes by, NEVER A DAY, that I don’t think of Bob and how much his life meant to me and how much his death changed me and all of my family. Even for my younger children who never saw him alive, he is alive in their hearts.
And a day never goes by, NEVER A DAY, that I don’t think of all of you, even if you never met Bob, who still carry this burden in your hearts. For some reason, probably because we are his family, it’s ok for us to still grieve and still commemorate Bob’s life and death. But you are his family too and no one can measure grief, no one has the right to say who can and who cannot be allowed to grieve even after 20 years and you all probably carry your burden in silence.
Bob, along with a number of other Military Police who were killed in the line of duty, in non-combat conditions, and who were performing duties similar to non-military police were inducted and their names placed on the wall at the National Law Enforcement Memorial just this year or maybe last year. We’ll go to the Memorial next year in May during Law Enforcement Week. His name and all the others are dedicated not just to Bob or them, but also to all of you who have shared the risks and just been a little luckier.
I never want another family to go through this or another group of colleagues but they will. And those of you who lay down their lives for their Country will never be forgotten. And neither will those of you who have in the past, or still do, risk your lives to protect what is right.

Bob was buried during a blizzard at Oakwood Cemetery in Troy, NY. It was 18 January, 1978, 12 days after his murder.
We expected no one to show up because of the weather……hundreds did.
Bonnie Thornton Harwood, Bob’s fiancee’ and a Security Police Dog Handler at Clark, had flown in a week earlier and stayed with us at my parents. Greg Davis, Bob’s official escort at our request, was on the last plane that landed in Albany before the airport was closed.
He was held up for questioning at Clark because he was one of the first on the scene. He met us at the church. And the Honor Guard arrived on time, through the snow and cold from Griffiss Air Base in Rome NY, on a bus.
It feels like it was just yesterday. I had watched our older brother Bruce, and his Bishops and the Rector of Bob’s church conduct his funeral and now I watched as Bruce buried our kid brother, 12 years younger than me, 16 years younger than Bruce.
Some piece of Bruce’s heart and mine went into the grave with Bob. Parents aren’t supposed to bury their children and siblings not their youngest.
I watched the Honor Guard Bugler trying to get his bugle mouthpiece warm. First to his pocket, then rubbing it with his hands, then back to the pocket. It didn’t help much. With the wind and the snow attacking him from everywhere at the top of the ridge and the temperature at 18 below zero, he didn’t stand much of a chance. The first few notes didn’t quite come out but somehow he finished it up just as clear as could be.
To this day, and surely for the rest of my life I will never be able to hear Taps without a tear.
As we trudged back up the hill to the cars I helped Greg in. Even with his greatcoat and winter uniform and gloves he was still so bitterly cold. Probably coming from Clark to near Siberian conditions, and with little if any sleep over the past 12 days, didn’t help much. But as I put my hand on his shoulder to help him, I felt a ‘to the bone’ shiver like I have never felt in my life before or since. It wasn’t just the cold.
I’m sure lots of pieces of lots of hearts are still in that grave, certainly pieces from Greg and Bonnie and probably all of you.

My son Joey, Joseph Robert, who is 7 years old now, was named after the two men who mean the most to me, my grandfather and Bob.
Joey has his own web page, with a little help from his mom, dedicated to police.
His home page url is: http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Mountain/2629
He has links to the Security Police Museum at Lackland, National Law Enforcement Memorial and others.
Joey also has a site dedicated to fire fighters. The URL is:
http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Glade/3956/index.html
You can grab them from there if you don’t already have them. You may even put a link to his sight. I’m sure he’d like to hear from other Security Police dog handlers.

I read the pieces on your site by yourself, Steve Gambert, and Dale Warke. They were accurate and compelling and filled in a few blanks for us. We are grateful to you and them for keeping Bob’s memory alive.
Please know that each of you and all of the dog handlers and all of the dogs, like Casey Jones who tried so desperately to save his masters life, are in our thoughts and prayers EVERY DAY!
If it’s in our power to help any of you, we can be contacted by email.

graykp@bigvax.alfred.edu

Sincerely, Ken